The archive diary of Useless
Useless is the network’s eraser-in-residence. This time it has been given a library card, a pair of white gloves and no idea. Every fact in here has been checked by someone more qualified, i.e. anyone.
- Day 1
Chance Brothers of Birmingham supplied 293,655 panes of glass for the Crystal Palace. Nobody asked me to clean them. Phew. V&A: The Great Exhibition of 1851
- Day 2
The Great Exhibition showed more than 100,000 objects. My pencil case shows four, and one of them is me. V&A: The Great Exhibition of 1851
- Day 3
Aged 10, Victoria said “I will be good.” I said the same thing, then rubbed out the right answer. Twice. Encyclopaedia Britannica: Victoria, queen of the United Kingdom
- Day 4
Victoria kept a journal all through her life. I keep rubbing mine out. Encyclopaedia Britannica: Victoria, queen of the United Kingdom
- Day 5
Britannica says one million “pop” bottles were consumed at the Great Exhibition. I wasn’t invited. Still a bit hurt. Encyclopaedia Britannica: Great Exhibition of 1851
- Day 6
No ship was bigger than the Great Eastern for 40 years. I was the biggest eraser in my class for about a week. Encyclopaedia Britannica: Isambard Kingdom Brunel
- Day 7
Brunel’s broad gauge had rails 2 metres apart. My ruler is 30cm. I’d need about seven of them, and a grown-up. Encyclopaedia Britannica: Isambard Kingdom Brunel
- Day 8
The Chartists’ 1848 petition was said to include “Mr Punch”. I once signed a birthday card as “Mr Rubber”. Nobody was fooled either. The National Archives: What was Chartism?
- Day 9
The Crystal Palace design was changed to save ten huge elm trees. Nobody has ever changed a design to save me. V&A: The Great Exhibition of 1851
- Day 10
The museum’s refreshment rooms were the first of their kind in the world. Finally, somebody thought about snacks. V&A: Building the Museum
- Day 11
Gas lighting let the museum stay open on winter evenings. I close at about 3pm, when the pencil case zips shut. V&A: Building the Museum
- Day 12
Charles Booth filled 17 volumes about London. I filled 17 seconds on my spelling list, then had a lie-down. British Library: Charles Booth’s poverty map of London
- Day 13
The Crystal Palace went up in about seven months. My model of it took seven minutes and fell over. V&A: The Great Exhibition of 1851
- Day 14
Paxton got his idea from a lily house. I got mine from a crumb at the bottom of the pencil case. V&A: The Great Exhibition of 1851
- Day 15
Owen Jones painted the Crystal Palace yellow, white, blue and red. I am pink. Nobody asked for pink. V&A: The Great Exhibition of 1851
- Day 16
Ragged schools taught over 40,000 children in London by 1861. I taught one pencil to behave. It didn’t. British Library: Education in Victorian Britain